Now, I know what you must be thinking, ‘Sam, are you seriously about to give advice on how to get your shit together when you are an absolute mess?’
Yes. I am. I like to think that I have evolved. Over the last six months my shit has been scattered, scrambled, stepped on and straight up thrown across the ocean. Damn, that was a tongue twister. But I have managed to get it back and get it together, believe it or not. And I won’t blame you for not believing it, I can hardly believe it myself.
Life can be a real dick. There is no escaping it. So whatever it is that you’re going through, just remember that if Miley Cyrus and I got our shit together, so can you (Yeah, I just put myself in the same category as Miley Cyrus, sorry Miley!).*
Here are some things that I’ve learned along the way that for some reason I feel compelled to share with you. And if you already have your shit together, good for you. Hold onto it. If not, here’s some relatively mediocre advice from a totally unqualified, former and (probably) future mess of a person on how to get your shit together.
My first and most important tip for getting your shit together is to FAKE IT in every way possible. This isn’t so that everyone else thinks you have your shit together, it’s so you do. Personally, I like to trick myself into thinking I have it all figured out because as it turns out, if you pretend your life is organised and normal for long enough, it will actually become organised and normal. Trust me, it works.
First things first… clean. Clean like your life depends on it. Sounds crazy but it’s true. My mum would always say that she could tell when my life was falling apart by the state of my room. And she is right. Messy life equals messy house (you probably expected that to rhyme but I am not a poet. I apologise.) Even if you don’t actually have your shit together yet, it makes it look like you do. As I said, fake it till you make it (okay that one rhymed). And honestly, when my space is clean, I just feel better. So if you want to do something right now, do that. Go clean out your closet. The rest kind of just falls into place.
Denial is a powerful thing. Sometimes, we like to ignore negative feelings or run from them, it’s human nature. But it isn’t productive and it certainly doesn’t help you get your shit together. Once you start accepting your situation, you can do something about it. This applies to everything. It doesn’t matter if it’s ‘Did I eat the cheese and bacon balls? NO! Jesus mum, I’m on a diet, who eats that many anyway?’ or ‘Yeah, I’m totally over him and I don’t care anymore.’ Stop doing it. Once you admit that you did eat the chips and yep, you do still care about him, you can actually deal with the problem. Because if you don’t like where you’re at… move. There’s no illusion when it comes to acceptance, this one’s on you.
Now, this doesn’t mean that you get to wallow in self pity. Wallowing is almost worse than denial. Neither are productive. Put it this way, if you hurt yourself, do you keep poking the wound with a stick to see if it still hurts? No. Well, I hope not, that would be a bit weird. Hopefully you would bandage it up and let it heal. So let yourself heal. Whatever you’re going through, it won’t last forever and it will get better. Unless, of course, what you’re going through is pregnancy, in which case, it will get a whole lot worse. Can’t help you there. Sorry.
Wow. Thanks Sam. Your advice on how to change is to change. Thank you so much. Very helpful. But there isn’t really much else I need to say for this one. Overall, you know what you need to do, so do it. If you were waiting for a nudge, this is it. You’re welcome. You can thank me later.
You could always start with baby steps. Do small things like making your bed every morning and drinking more water. You know, all the stuff that people who have their shit together do! As I said, It’s all just one big illusion anyway. Im more of a go big or go home girl but hey, whatever works for you.
Don’t. I’m serious. Don’t treat yourself. I’m sorry but someone needed to say it. If you are this far into my post on how to get your shit together then you’re either a very dedicated fan of my writing, my mother or a total mess that needs to get their shit together. So stop treating yourself (Unless you are just a dedicated fan of my writing, in which case, treat yourself all you like you beautiful soul, I love you). I ‘treated myself’ once because I had been through a lot and sure, everything in moderation and then 6 months later, I realised I was still doing a lot of treatin’ and not a lot of working. Im not exactly a moderation kind of gal. So I’m calling it, treating yourself is an excuse. And a pretty stupid one.
Don’t go and down that bottle of red wine because you feel sorry for yourself.
Go and clean out your closet because you are excited about the future! Wow. Yes, I am aware of how stupid I sound. I am now the kind of person that says cheesy things like that. And I secretly love it.
To be honest, I will be a mess again. That’s life. It’s normal for it to get a little crazy sometimes. But at the end of the day, I’m here, I’m still standing and so are you. Now turn off your stupid phone! Go meditate or go to the gym or something… as long as it looks like you have your shit together! Good luck!
*Disclaimer – Miley Cyrus is in no way affiliated with this post and denies any association with me.