I consider myself an expert in very few things – ruining my life, putting it back together, binge-watching tv series, binge-eating whilst watching tv series, making a kick ass cheese board, eating said cheese board and most importantly, I am an expert in the art of being single. If you’re thinking that being single isn’t an art, you’re mistaken. Now, before I get into the nitty gritty of why I think being single is completely fabulous, please take a few moments to read my disclaimers so that I don’t get brutally attacked on social media:
- I am not trying to ‘diss’ relationships, I’m purely trying to help those that may struggle with being alone in general because I genuinely think It’s pretty great.
- If you are in a relationship and feel personally attacked by this post, grow a pair.
- I am not a ‘bitter cat lady’ trying to make myself feel better (although I do have two cats).
- Also, I am not responsible for any breakups that may occur after you read this post and realise that being single sounds way better than being in a relationship.
Being alone is often associated with being lonely and it shouldn’t be. Being alone is something that everyone should be able to do. It sounds easy, but you would be surprised at how many people are incapable of spending time with themselves. I like to call them ‘serial monogamists’. You know those people that go through a breakup and before you can say ‘are you okay?’ they have already moved on to someone new. Just like serial killers but with less murder and more annoying ‘I love you’ teddy bears. Either they are ridiculously perfect human beings with an endless line of bachelors (or bachelorettes) waiting for them around every breakup corner or they suck at being alone. It’s a skill and like every skill, if you don’t practice it, you’re not going to be very good at it. It can be hard at first, especially if you are used to spending all of your precious time with another person, but over time you will learn to love being alone. Trust me. I wouldn’t have it any other way (unless that other way was Zac Efron then I guess I could compromise).
I’ve been asked a lot recently if I’m seeing anybody or if there is someone ‘special’ in my life and it’s kind of made me want to scream. I AM someone special, damn it! Often, our relationship with ourselves is the one that needs the most work. We need to stop thinking of ‘single’ as a dirty word. I absolutely hate the idea of searching for my other half because it implies that I am a half, which I’m obviously not and either are you. *Cue ‘I don’t need a man’ by The Pussycat Dolls*
You can do what you want, when you want (within reason, I’m not suggesting that you should run naked down the street but whatever floats your boat). Want to watch Netflix in bed? You can! Every night? All night? Totally! No one is stopping you! You’re allowed to be selfish when you’re single. You’re meant to be selfish. I give you permission. You even get the WHOLE BED to yourself (crazy, right?).
When you’re single you have more time for friendships, family and your job. It’s amazing. I mean, I just finished an eight week Harry Potter marathon with my family. If that isn’t living the dream, then I don’t know what is. Seriously guys, wild things are happening over here.
Oh and I almost forgot about my favourite thing. You get to travel alone without missing anyone! Solo travel is amazing because not only can you do exactly what you want to do, you learn so much about yourself along the way. You know, self discovery and all that beautiful crap! Go and live boldly! (For those of you that don’t know, I have ‘Live boldly’ as a tattoo on my rib cage. It’s not as white girl as it sounds, I promise. Also, to my horror, Revlon revealed their new slogan about a week after I got the tattoo and I’m sure you can guess what it was. I’m basically a walking Revlon advertisement.)
Learning to rely on yourself is more important than people think. At the end of the day, who’s going to be there? You. Happiness comes from within, not from someone else. I heard someone once say that being single gives you a chance to prepare for your next relationship. What a load of crap. This isn’t preschool! I’m not preparing for anything other than a long and happy life with me, myself and I (and my two cats). Until you are comfortable with yourself, you’ll never know if you are choosing to be with someone out of love or loneliness. So this week I challenge you all, even you couples, to take note of how happy you are alone (and also to listen to ‘I don’t need a man’ by The Pussycat Dolls because it’s awesome). If you don’t love being alone, you’ve got some work to do!
xx Sam (aka the bitter cat lady)