I Hate Kale (and other confessions)

Hello friends! Welcome to an entire blog post dedicated to stupid confessions. I thought I would share some thoughts I’ve had at the ripe old age of 21 and some things I’ve learned along the way. Before I begin, I must warn you, this is not an advice article. This is just a collection of things I have to say. You won’t even learn anything! Sorry! I hope you relate to some of these confessions, otherwise I’m just a total nut bag sharing pointless thoughts with the internet (which is probably exactly what I am, regardless).

I hate kale!

(and other health food items). I have purchased kale three times now and never once have I eaten it.  I’ve just watched it slowly wilt away in the fridge, whilst pretending that ‘I forgot it was there’. It’s gross and I don’t want to eat it. Am I a rabbit? No. So, why would I eat LEAVES? I’m not much of a salad person. Is anyone a salad person? I feel the same way about pasta substitutes. Who in their right mind would substitute pasta? Zoodles (zucchini noodles) are the devil and I will never eat them. I don’t care how large I get, I will never stop eating spaghetti. The real kind. The full carb noodles smothered in sauce and cheese. Please join this movement with me. Say no to the zoodles. #protestforpasta

My body is a frequently fluctuating temple!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my body. However, it has a problem staying the same size. I have no idea why this is. I mean, it’s definitely not because my diet mostly consists of cheese, chips, wine and the odd cucumber every now and again. But I’m so sick of the weight fluctuation. One week I’m your regular sized gal, the next my ass is the size of a bloody baobab tree (see picture). Does this happen to anyone else? No? Just me? It’s so damn annoying. I guess I should start eating kale, that should help ( ha ha just kidding, I will never eat kale. And if you try to put it in my juice, I WILL kill you).

I’m a mature age student!

Technically. If you’re over the age of 21 when you start your degree, you classify as a mature age student. So thats fun. It also makes me feel super old. But I have learned that it’s never too late to chase your dream! Just kidding guys, I’m not THAT cheesy (figuratively speaking. I am THAT cheesy in regards to pasta). Wow, there really is a lot of talk about food. I should have called this ‘500 words about a woman’s unhealthy relationship with food’.

Money Money Money

It really must be funny in a rich mans world (ABBA, we relate). God, Being a student sucks. I love my degree and its great but it doesn’t leave much time for work, which means that I have basically no mula. I’m meant to be going to Europe next year but I suck at saving money. Literally, I am the worst. I would love to do a blog post on how to save money on a tight budget but I just can’t. I have no solution to being broke (Although I suspect it may have something to do with limiting my shopping addiction). The other day I ordered a red handbag. Do I need it? No. Why did I get it? No clue. Another mystery of the 21st century. But seriously, If anyone has any saving tips that aren’t ‘make a savings account!!’, I would really appreciate it. Like, as if I don’t have a savings account Karen, GOD! Of course I do.*

me throwing money at stupid things

I don’t want to date.

I really don’t. I mean, I’m in my early twenties, shouldn’t I be dating like three guys at the same time or something? It’s just not my thing. This could be due to my growing dislike for men*, amongst other things but I’m just not interested in the whole dating scene (I say this whilst I just spent the last 2 hours on tinder, swiping through the mediocre selection of men in Sydney). I have spoken about this in GREAT detail before, so check it out.

I am constantly learning new things about myself

The older I get, the more I surprise myself. I found out that I’m allergic to eggs (technically I’m egg intolerant but saying I’m allergic makes it sound more dramatic). Who knew? I also recently discovered my love for musical theatre. Like full blown, over the top, musical theatre. I guess we could see that one coming, I am a touch over the top. I feel like I was born to be a drag queen. Can I be a drag queen? Probably not. Am I being politically incorrect? Probably. Im sorry.

Okay, rant over. If you got this far, congratulations. Feel free to rant to me anytime. I’d love to hear your confessions!

xxx Sam

Disclaimers

  • I may have a savings account, but there are no savings actually in said savings account. My current balance is $4.50 due to my total inability to take responsibility for my actions. Sorry mum.
  • My growing distaste for the male species is nothing personal fellas. It’s more about me than it is about you. Imagine trying to date. It’s hell. Also, I don’t do it. Yeah, my ex messed me up a little. Is that noticeable?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s