What now? Moving on from toxicity

Hello again friends, this is a follow up to my last post, where i spoke about toxic people and cutting them out of your life. A lot of you have asked, what now? Or how do I do that? So I’m here to answer all of your questions with my typical, very biased, very blunt advice. Listen up.

It’s your story to tell

If you have a story to tell, tell it. Don’t keep your mouth shut. You don’t need to protect them anymore. Own your story and what has happened to you and if it makes other people uncomfortable, who gives a f**k? You don’t need anyone’s permission to speak of your pain. Who knows? Your story could help another person get out of a toxic relationship. Channel your inner Sammy and speak your truth.

Stay strong

I know how hard it is when you have history with someone to move on. But hang in there. Time really does heal all. Don’t give in, keep them, their family and their dog blocked and don’t you dare message them. If they contact you, ignore it. Silence is the best revenge. Karma will eventually catch up with them. But remember, your name isn’t karma, so don’t try and do it yourself. Just sit back, relax and let the universe take care of it.

Grieve

Even though you’ve cut out what is absolutely pure trash, you’re still experiencing a loss. Don’t let anyone belittle that loss. Yes, you are better off without them and if you’ve got this far then congratulations! But you have every right to grieve the loss of that toxic, narcissistic person that was manipulating your life for way too long. You can grieve the person that you thought they were and the memories you shared. Give yourself some time. Be kind to yourself, wrap yourself in cotton wool, as mum would say. I promise you, the hard part is over, but you’ve still got a long journey ahead.

Write a letter

Now, I’m not saying give it to them, But writing (clearly) is my outlet and it really helps to get everything out on paper. Write about how much you hate them, how much you love them, how much they’ve hurt you, how you wish them a life of misery, whatever you damn want. Write everything down and address it to them. Then fucking burn that shit. Let it go up in flames, just like your relationship.

Surround yourself with positivity

Once all that negativity is gone, you’ll see all the positives in your life and appreciate them a whole lot more. I’m so appreciative of my real friends and amazing family now, after realising what healthy relationships look like. Learn to love yourself (cheesy I know) but get back to basics and focus on getting through it day by day, minute by fucking minute. Buy some crystals or some shit, I don’t care! But positive vibes, please and thank you.

As I’ve said before, When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Once they’re gone, they will try to come back. That’s almost factual. But don’t you let them bring you down again! Don’t engage and move the fuck on. You and I will both get through this (probably with a lot of tears and a lot of alcohol but meh, at least we are trying, right?!) and we won’t ever let someone toxic into our lives again. It is what it is. Onwards and upwards kids!

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